Sounds Like Someone Needs to Get Real!

Here’s someone that seriously needs to get real and deal. Taylor Swift apparently dated– and got played – by none other than John Mayer himself. Of her new album, she said, “Speak Now is the next chapter in my story, and I’m naming names.” One song that has been all over the media is titled “Dear John”, which is rumored to be about her short-lived romance with Johnny.

Entertainment Weekly wrote:
Another track, “Dear John,” which has yet to hit iTunes, is also making headlines. Writing for Our Country, the Y! Music Country Blog, EW contributor Chris Willman is confident that the track confirms her rumored relationship and breakup with John Mayer. He points to the first chorus: ‘Dear John/I see it all now that you’re gone/Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home/I should’ve known.” And a second version of the chorus that includes the lines: “It was wrong/Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games/When I loved you so.” He also notes these lyrics: “My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine…” and “You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/And I’ll look back in regret I ignored what they said/’Run as fast as you can’.” Just reading those, you understand why Willman claims we’ll be cheering when Swift sings, “I’m shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town.” It’s nice to see someone turn the tables on Mr. Overshare, isn’t it? Who else can’t wait to hear that track? (Willman says it’s six and a half minutes long.)

Ugh. Sigh. Huff. Ok. Putting aside the fact that I LOVE LOOOOOVE me some John Mayer, I just can’t have sympathy for Taylor Swift. This girl is ridiculous. John Mayer is a very WELL known player in LA. She can try to point a finger at John and blame him for playing her, but hello! She dated a known player. Clearly from her song lyrics many people warned her about John too. So I just don’t see how she can blame him. If you hop in bed with a known player, don’t you think you’ll get played? Did Taylor think she’d be The One, and break him of his bad habits? Ha! Did she think she was special? Did she fall victim to his charming ways? Maybe…but that doesn’t make this John’s fault; regardless of her age. If she can write a song in retrospect five minutes after the breakup and have all this insight to what she wish she would have done…she knew all along that it would end this way, and would have known what she should have done in the moment. But his charisma got to her. I’d fall victim to his ways too, but I’d know going into the “relationship” that I’d get played in the end, and I’m sure that’s just something I’d have to live with, if it meant I got to be with Johnny!

I think Taylor should have kept her sad little song to herself and just sported some really rad shirts that said things like, oh I don’t know “I Played John Mayer” with a picture of an Ipod. Or maybe “Team Aniston”. Take the high road, puppy. That’s all I’m saying! Anything to sell an album, eh?

California’s Prop 8/Church vs. State

I’m frustrated. I feel angry. I feel, confused, almost. This country was founded on the idea that we were ALL escaping persecution. We wanted freedom. We wanted equality. So our founding father’s created that for us. They traveled across the ocean, they faced horrible things, famine, decease, death. They searched for a land of PROMISE. A land of opportunity. A land of freedom. They found it. Thanks to our God.

In my religion, long ago, after being settled in America, we were also persecuted. We wanted freedom. We wanted to be able to practice our beliefs and live the way that we felt God wanted us to live. So we moved West in hopes of finding that freedom. We suffered the same horrible things our founding fathers did; famine, disease, death. But, in the end, and with God’s help, we found our Place. Thanks to our God.

A nation, founded on the idea that we want freedom and equality. Yet then we go ahead and limit that freedom and equality to people we deem “worthy”. There’s an exception to the rule. There’s hypocrisy. Irony. While others are so quick to decide whether gay marriage is RIGHT, or WRONG…I feel at a loss of knowing. I also feel greatly humbled in my search to know “RIGHT vs WRONG” on this subject. I know that my God wants me to stand up and support right vs wrong situations. In some situations and moral dilemmas, I feel it is not enough to simply state whether I think something is right or wrong. I feel the need to stand up and proclaim the truth of right vs wrong.

Example: Abuse. Hands down, it is not enough to say it’s bad…it’s something that we must fight against, and protect our loved ones against. It’s an easy black and white topic.

But gay marriage has me at a loss. And while I struggle with that personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is one that I will let go. I cannot begin to understand what it’s like to be a gay person in today’s world. I cannot begin to understand the struggles, persecution, and devastation they go through trying to figure it out themselves. I know too many gay individuals that would give ANYTHING not to be tormented with their sexual preferences. I know many gays that have “shelved” that part of their life so they can live the way God would want them to live – straight. I have heard too many stories of kids, children, committing suicide because they are disgusted with their own sexuality.

How can I possibly make this judgment call? I can’t, and I won’t. God does declare marriage between a man and a woman. But God declares a lot of things that people choose to disobey. Adultery, Murder, etc. And NO, I am not putting Gay Marriage in that category… I am just saying, when it boils down to it, it’s a choice that people SHOULD be able to make. If one has the freedom to choose whether they have an affair or not, then surely one should have the freedom to choose who they marry. But our nation isn’t allowing for people to choose. And this is what has me frustrated. Because as a NATION, we are founded on freedoms. And as a RELIGION, we are given our free agency to make our own choices. But that choice has to be available, then, doesn’t it?

I guess my point is, whether I believe gay marriage to be right or wrong, I still feel that one should have the option to make that decision for one’s self. Not only in our nation, but in our religion as well we have dealt with inequality before. It is interesting (for lack of a better word) to me that gay people have been persecuted in this nation longer than slaves and women.

I don’t feel I am doing a disservice to my religion, or to my marriage, by supporting a gay person in their trek for happiness. I don’t feel that we, as a people, can grow without true equality, even if it is something we don’t agree with. Judgment lies within God, and God alone. It is not my place to try to figure it out, and determine the worth of His souls, of His creations. I won’t insult him by damning His children because my mind is too little to understand.

I want peace. I want happiness. I want freedom. Not just for me, not just for my religion, but for my nation, and all those who inhabit this land of Promise. One nation, founded under God, for all.

For some of you – you will see my position as weak, or as a disservice to my religion. I am seen as a “fence sitter”. And that is ok. You can judge me, and criticize my decision. But in my heart, and between me and my God, I am at peace, and I have received personal confirmation that it’s ok not to understand everything, and that it’s ok to love and let love. It’s what He does every day with my imperfect soul. It’s the least I could to unto others.

TRUE BEAUTY

I have always had body-image issues; not enough to be body dysmorphia by any means, but enough that I was always looking in the mirror wanting to change this and that, poking at my sides and butt, reviewing the flatness of my chest, and flapping my dangly arm fat. I’m not sure at what age this came about, probably in puberty when girls start noticing the changes in their body. My sister and mom were both “well endowed” and frankly, I just sat around waiting for my boobs to grow in. They never did. I was overwhelmed with my physical appearance, not because I was hideous, but because I was different. I was pale with freckles that I hated (even though my sweet mother kept telling me they were angel kisses), rail-thin, red-haired, and left handed.

TANGENT: I had a math teacher call me to the front of class on one of the last days of school. The class was busy either talking with each other, finishing last minute projects, or just socializing. He’d let us do that if we got our assignments done; so thank goodness I did not have a classroom full of EYES staring at me. But my friends Tiff and Carla were watching. He calls me to the front of the classroom and tells me he noticed I was left handed. I looked at him, puzzled, as to say “and so…?” but he continued, asking me to pull a book off of his shelf. I make eyes at Tiffany and Carla who smirk and shrug their shoulders. I was a little confused, and definitely thinking “what the hell…” so I couldn’t possibly tell you what the book was. A dictionary? Thesaurus? Book on Wizards? No idea. But he turns to a page in the book that talks about left handed people. He has me read aloud what it says. I don’t remember, but it was something to the jist of “leftys are of the devil…”. After reading the passage, I again turned to him with confusing and all he said was “My mother was left handed”. I stared blankly at him, and he at me. I look out to Carla and Tiffany who are holding back laughter, as am I by this point. I said, “Well that was very intriguing. Thanks for sharing!” and returned to my seat. Was he being funny? Serious? A creepo? Who knows…Ok back to body image issues….

So to throw on top of all that, I had the figure of a boy and it was just overwhelming. By age 16-17, I started to wonder what my options would be. Settle with the fact that I just have a boyish figure? Stuff my bra for the rest of my life? Plastic surgery? Ugh. I don’t want to pick any of those options, I just want them to grow in!

I started dying my hair blond in high school; one less insecurity to deal with. I didn’t let my red hair grow in until I had moved to Utah, at age 20. I was finally ready to face the facts about myself. I’m just going to have to deal with red hair. When I would go home and meet up with friends from high school and college, they barely recognized me. Many were surprised to know I was naturally red haired. Even a few of my aunts had asked me what color of red dye I was using. Au-naturale, baby. Finally, I had accepted that I was a red head. And in all reality, the color of red changed. I went from the light reddish orange to a dark almost auburn color. It was beautiful. And for the first time, I started to appreciate it.

But still. Looking like a boy. Flat as can be. Come on, I’m 20 now. If they haven’t come by now, they aren’t coming. By this time, I had already decided that I’d purchase a pair if needs be to shelter me from the insecurities I felt. So tired of wearing t-shirts over swimsuits and push up bras. So tired of feeling inadequate in my own skin. I’ll skip all the details of that saga, but the point is, I eventually did have plastic surgery and had a breast augmentation. To finally feel feminine was amazing. To feel confident in my own skin was almost an overwhelming feeling I can still hardly express.

Once that insecurity fell to the side line, I realized some amazing things about myself. Being different is GOOD. Being a natural, beautiful red head is RARE. Being a lefty makes me quirky. Having fair skin still sucks, but luckily our society has come a long way in the sense of self-tanners and FINALLY made a stink about skin cancer. PALE IS COOL! So while I still have the insecurities, I am now able to side-step most of them, and continue on in my life, healthy and happy with what God (and a good doctor) gave me.

Fast forward to now. 6.5 years later. Without sounding too self-centered, I do think I’m beautiful. Of course I’m not perfect, but I am happy with myself. Inside and out. However, the insecurities still creep up from time to time. I can’t help but become obsessed about dieting and exercise. What starts out with good intentions of being healthier becomes about being thinner, leaner, more physically attractive. Damn it. How did I come around to this again? I thought I’d put those insecurities to rest. While on a drive to Las Vegas with a friend, and feeling once again overwhelmed with imperfection, I said to my friend, “Don’t you ever worry about being in public in a swimsuit? I’m always worried about how I look”. My friend shrugged and said “No. I’m comfortable with myself. If they don’t like what they see, they can look away.” HOLY. COW. Why hadn’t I ever thought of that before? I felt like I had been hit by a semi.

Her little phrase empowered me in so many ways. In a world where outer beauty is perceived as far more important than inner beauty, I have fallen victim to myself. I have let other people decide for me if I was pretty or not. I was basing my outer appearance on what other people looked like, and not on what I felt was the healthiest route for my body. I was ashamed of myself for ever being that insecure.

Well, no more. No more will I be killing myself in the gym. No more will I diet and deprive myself of the foods and sweets I love. No more will I look to Victoria’s Secret commercials as a means of finding BEAUTY. I will decide what is best for my body, from the inside out. I will exercise because it’s important to be healthy, and I want to live a long, healthy life. I’m done fitting in with the standards of perfection drawn out by society and media. I’m a grown woman and I should have found my friend’s view all on my own. I should have felt this way years ago. But here I am. A grown adult who is finally saying I will decide what is best for me.

With a trip to Florida in two weeks to see my best friends, where we will be hanging in swimsuits for the majority of the time, I’m not going to give one damn about how I look, because it should always be about how I feel.

Side note: I still would have gotten the boobs. That was for me, and I’m proud I didn’t let anyone persuade me one way or another on the matter.

~ Heidi MontGAG ~

I see this girl and want to barf. I see this girl and am seriously so furious, I'm speechless. So, I am going to steal a great article from Newsweek:

Heidi Montag, Version 3.0
Eleven things that deeply disturb us about the reality star's surgical transformation.

By the time she turned 21 in September 2007, MTV reality star Heidi Montag had already had a nose job, collagen lip injections, and implants that turned her A-cups into cantaloupe-round 32-Cs. In the years since, she's mulled over what to have done next, saving photos of stars like Angelina Jolie and consulting her surgeon more than 20 times. In this week's People, she describes her behavior as "absolutely beyond obsessed." Which led her to the operating room once again, on Nov. 20, for a total of 10 procedures in one sitting. There are many things wrong with this scenario—beginning with Montag's sleazy husband filming her with a handheld camera while a doctor marked off her "problem areas." But here are the 11 things about Heidi's surgery obsession—and her interview with People—that disturbed us the most.

11. She Says God Is On Her Side - How accommodating of God to hop down from the pearly throne and sign Heidi's plastic-surgery permission slip. "I prayed about it for a long time and said, 'God, if it's wrong, then I won't do it,' " she says, on how she squared the slew of procedures (estimated at $30,000-plus) with her religious faith.

10. 'Sexy Ears' Is Sure to Become a New Catchphrase - What, you wonder, makes an ear "sexy"? According to Heidi—whose ears have now been surgically "pinned back"—it was mortifying to see herself on TV with flaps sticking out "like Dumbo." "For the first time," she says, speaking about her post-op body, "I have sexy ears! I can wear updos, instead of hiding them behind my hair." We're waiting for those glorious updos.

9. It's a Miracle She Snagged a Man With Her Real Tits - "Honestly, the way I got Spencer, I had no surgery," she tells People. "It was my inner beauty that he loved." Nice sentiment. Sadly, her case that you don't need silicone to snag a man is undermined by a pre-surgery video on People's site, in which Montag signs off this way: "This is Heidi Montag going in. When I wake up, I'll be Mrs. Pratt: new last name, new face."

8. The Pain! - Many of us have idly wondered what it would be like to go under the knife, but Heidi's account is the ultimate cautionary tale. She spent 10 hours in the operating room, her body tagged up with a marker like a page out of Paint by Numbers. She emerged to a blur of pain and spins and stars. When she saw her husband, "I started crying hard," she tells People. "I was like, 'I feel like I wanna die right now. I'm in so much pain. I don't know what to do.' " What she did was ask for drugs—drugs that slowed her breathing to the point where an oxygen mask was rushed over her face. When she finally returned home, she made her husband cover all the mirrors in the house to hide her puffy, bruised body. "I looked like I had been hit by a bus," she says. "I was a purple, swollen mush." Where can we sign up?

7. After All That, No Man Will Ever Look at Anything but Her Boobs - Last night, after a heated office discussion at NEWSWEEK, one of our staffers posted Heidi's before-and-after images on Facebook. "She seems to look pretty much the same," one of her male friends commented, "excepting the radically altered bust." When you've got DDDs—and have vowed to go bigger—it's easy to see how one could be, um, distracted. And Heidi is counting on it: when People asked if she worries that people will fixate on her breasts, she responded, "They better!"

6. Apparently This Is Normal. (At Least in Hollywood.) - We've grown up on pop culture that screams that everything is a candidate for improvement. We've watched bodies transformed on Extreme Makeover; faces taken apart and pieced back together on I Want a Famous Face. We dissect Demi Moore's Photoshopped body on the cover of W magazine and wonder how the 47-year-old mother, even before the airbrushing, could possibly look so good. Meanwhile, statistics from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery show that cosmetic-surgery procedures performed on those 18 and younger have nearly doubled over the past decade, while nearly 14 percent of Botox injections are given to those in the 19-to-34 age group, like Heidi. "I think it's a very interesting time for girls, in that what we all grew up believing—that you have to play the hand you're dealt—is no longer true," screenwriter and director Nora Ephron recently told NEWSWEEK. "In some sense, you really can go out and buy yourself a better face and a different body."

5. She Keeps Referring to the New Her as 'The Real Me' - The "real" Heidi Montag is a girl from Crested Butte, Colo. (population: 1,529), who moved to Los Angeles to study fashion and soak up the big city. When confronted with the judgmental culture of L.A. (and reality television and TMZ fame and dating a masochist while he chased Playboy bunnies), Montag decided she needed a "new body" to reflect her "inner beauty" as a sweet, God-loving, confident small-town girl. Post-op, she says she's thrilled to look like "a Norwegian goddess." Which means ... this whole time, her "inner self" was a Norse deity?

4. She's Conforming to a Male Standard of Beauty - She's gone from naive to Playboy model to looking as if she just stepped out of the pages of Penthouse, yet even the surgically enhanced Heidi just can't get enough. "I just love boobs," she says. "They make me feel more womanly." But "womanly" by whose standards?

3. She Thinks It Will Help Her Career - Montag says her "ultimate dream" is to be a pop star, though her singing and dancing talents are minimal and no record label would gamble on her album, Superficial. (Instead, she produced it independently, reportedly spending nearly $2 million to make it.) "I'm competing against the Britney Spears of the world—and when she was in her prime, it was her sex appeal that sold," Montag says, calling her surgeries an "investment for my career." In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Montag said she expects that Superficial could be the "biggest album of the year" and puts it in the pop pantheon with Michael Jackson's Thriller. It should be redundant to say that Montag is delusional about her abilities, but it's a pity that her body is taking the fall.

2. She Calls Herself a 'Cinderella Story' - Starring on The Hills with Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge made Montag the "frumpy sidekick," she says: the wealth and beauty of her costars made her feel ugly and poor by comparison, and she claims her season-one wardrobe was often made up of Conrad's castoffs. The horror: a then-19-year-old forced to borrow a dress from her roommate before a night of clubbing. It's enough to make you want to run, not walk, to the nearest clinic to have your chin sandpapered off.

1. Heidi Montag Will Never Be 'Perfect' - She told People she was "never the prettiest girl," and that the reason for her many procedures was "to feel perfect." But what Montag is reaching for, say body-image experts, simply doesn't exist. It's "unattainable beauty," as Susie Orbach, the former therapist to Princess Diana, has put it: the idea that good looks and peak fitness are no longer a biological gift but a ceaseless pursuit. If this is Montag at 23, just imagine how she'll be at 40.

Read original story here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/231093

Cause of Death: Unknown

Have you missed me? I doubt it. That’s ok. I haven’t had much to say. But – Hello world! I’m back!
So – in the past couple of months, a kid I went to high school with passed away. Now, I’m warning you, this post might come across as offensive, and insensitive – so if you can’t handle the subject of suicide – I suggest you stop reading….

Still with me? Good. Ok, so kid commits suicide; or so it’s presumed. All that is known is that he was found in his bath tub, dead. When word started to spread, it was unknown if this was suicide, or accident, or some freakish medical condition. It was posted all over facebook that he had passed away. With over 30 comments of people asking what happened, the family said there was an autopsy scheduled, so hopefully answers would emerge. The family then said, “Let’s not focus on the why, and just remember the great person that he was”.

Ok, I agree. I’m on board with that. A week or so passes and nothing further is said about the passing of this kid. This is where I think the family is at fault. It really pisses me off that the family decided not to let people know the truth. From what I’ve heard…this kid had a pain-pill addiction. He had recently lost his job. It’s assumed that he was down and out, took too many pills, and died. Now, I knew this kid to some degree. He was a great kid. I find it hard to believe he’d purposely commit suicide. My personal feeling is that it was an accidental overdose. I think most people will agree with me on that. He was such a vibrant kid, and I just don’t see suicide as being his answer to his problems. From the kid I know, he wouldn’t go out like that. This is my opinion.

So, as the family stays silent, rumors and accusations start to spread like wild fire. Rumors like: He was working at a “behavior recovery center” and he was stealing pain-pills from his clients: His girlfriend dumped him, and that was reason enough: He was let go from his job because of his addiction: He was gay and couldn’t handle the secret anymore: The family lied about where he was found. He wasn’t in his apartment, he was at a friend’s home…..

I don’t know if any of these are true. But I personally feel its wrong for the family to stay silent and let this boy’s legacy be this kind of crap. We all have our demons, and it’s unfair for this kid’s demons to be exposed to everyone without anyone (without himself) to stand up for him and defend his honor. Even if the truth was that he was gay with a pain-pill addition that just lost his job because of theft AND his girlfriend dumped him….I still think it would be best for the family to stand up and TELL THE TRUTH, defend their son/sibling, and put this all to bed. No matter how bad or painful the truth is, it’s still better than letting people’s imaginations do the talking on this one.

The family could have taken this kid’s story and turned it into a success story. “Yes, he had a pill addiction, and it sucks we weren’t aware, but hopefully by bringing this forth, and bringing light to the subject, we can save someone else in our lives that suffers. We can’t bring him back, but we can save someone else.” Is that so hard?

Not only could the family shed light on a serious issue, but they could also bring closure to those who were close to this kid. We all know that sometimes friends are closer to someone than their family. I feel that just because they are family doesn’t mean they should be the only ones privileged to know what happened to someone that was cared for, and loved by so many people.

By hiding the truth, they bring shame to their son/sibling. They are saying that whatever happened, it’s too shameful to let others know. I bet that’s how this person felt anyway. He was probably already ashamed that he had an addiction…and his family just validated that he SHOULD have been ashamed. They won’t even let it be known that they love and support him regardless of his worldly struggles. Again, just my opinion!

Months have passed, and people are still wondering, and asking questions about what happened. The family should be embarrassed they’ve let their son/sibling go out like a light, with rumors running the show. They should be ashamed that so many people are searching for closure, wishing they knew the truth, so they could process that information, and move on.

I’m sorry for their loss. It must be so difficult to deal with his demons, knowing that they can’t even talk to him, or comfort him, or help him move passed it. I’m sure for them it has been information overload. I hope that you, my reader, will see that I have so much compassion for this family, and for their loss. I just have the same compassion for the person we lost…and I feel he should be vindicated, and set free from rumors, and hurtful lies.

Ta ta for now,
Xoxo

GRG

BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS

I don't pay close enough attention to even address this issue, but I just gotta say....Whats the big deal with boobs?! Everyone is so up in arms about Miss America (or Miss Universe, or Miss USA, whoever the hell she is...) getting a boob job. It's funny. It's weird that her "manager" paid for them, for sure....but controversial enough for there to be news stories around the topic? NO. The past couple of days, I haven't been able to escape the "implant scandal" for this chick. So she got a boob job...big deal. It's not like she was selling drugs to poor kids. (Though I'm sure she's done some things to that effect)...
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and regarding all the nude photos that seem to come from those Miss Whatever pageants...can't they simply put a box on the application form that says "Check here if you've ever participated in pornography (video, photo, etc)" and if the answer is checked, sorry - you are no longer a running candidate...and if you lie and it comes out later that you have in fact done porn (cuz we all know 90% of them do....) you are immediately stripped of your title...No drama, no court hearing, no media swarming the story...cut and dry, you are done.
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Is it really that difficult? BLAH.

Loyalty to the "Family"

Dear you,

One of my very best friends got married not too long ago. I liked his spouse and tried to get along with her but he has become increasingly withdrawn from our group of friends. We've invited them out with us and they always flake out at the last minute. If we ever do hang out with them it has to be on their terms (their house, a party they are throwing, etc), and more than anything, on his WIFE’S terms. He also acts much different now than he did when we were all single, much more so than can be attributed to increased maturity. Should I keep trying to be a good friend or should I just accept that this person is not the same person I used to know?

Thanks,
Michael Corleone

Dear MC,
So Fredo has broken your heart? Moved on has he? Then YOU SHOULD TOO. If this guy is one of your VERY best friends, and he has dropped you, he doesn’t deserve your loyalty anymore. When we grow up, we have these things called “responsibilities”, and it makes it harder to maintain good friendships, so you should only keep friends in your life that are willing to work as hard as you at having a friendship. Why should you work your tail off for someone who won’t reciprocate your efforts? Sounds like we have a Yoko Ono on our hands. She could be the cause of the fall out. Does your friend hang with his spouse’s friends and family? I bet they do. Black ball that biotch. Usually when people get married, there is a change (for the better) in behavior. Your friend can’t make all the bbq’s and parties because now he has to divide his time in half, that’s normal, but if he’s not making ANY of the parties…it sounds like he’s given you up for his spouse! Not cool; especially with dudes. Girls can be overly sensitive, and a cat fight like this is expected. Girls fight about everything, but for best GUY friends and loyalty? Usually there isn’t much that stands in the way of that…except a she-devil. Come on, we all know it. Unfortunately, as we age, some friends are lifers, while others come and go. I know this is probably a friend you thought would be a lifer, given the fact that you were at some point best friends, but it looks as though the season has passed with this one. Let him go. He’ll realize in 10 years how lonely he is, and how much he misses his TRUE friends. Unless the she-devil kills off his old spirit completely, and if that’s the case, he won’t even remember what he used to be like back in the day, or what he’s missing out on. Dump him. You can do better.
Xoxo,
♥