California’s Prop 8/Church vs. State

I’m frustrated. I feel angry. I feel, confused, almost. This country was founded on the idea that we were ALL escaping persecution. We wanted freedom. We wanted equality. So our founding father’s created that for us. They traveled across the ocean, they faced horrible things, famine, decease, death. They searched for a land of PROMISE. A land of opportunity. A land of freedom. They found it. Thanks to our God.

In my religion, long ago, after being settled in America, we were also persecuted. We wanted freedom. We wanted to be able to practice our beliefs and live the way that we felt God wanted us to live. So we moved West in hopes of finding that freedom. We suffered the same horrible things our founding fathers did; famine, disease, death. But, in the end, and with God’s help, we found our Place. Thanks to our God.

A nation, founded on the idea that we want freedom and equality. Yet then we go ahead and limit that freedom and equality to people we deem “worthy”. There’s an exception to the rule. There’s hypocrisy. Irony. While others are so quick to decide whether gay marriage is RIGHT, or WRONG…I feel at a loss of knowing. I also feel greatly humbled in my search to know “RIGHT vs WRONG” on this subject. I know that my God wants me to stand up and support right vs wrong situations. In some situations and moral dilemmas, I feel it is not enough to simply state whether I think something is right or wrong. I feel the need to stand up and proclaim the truth of right vs wrong.

Example: Abuse. Hands down, it is not enough to say it’s bad…it’s something that we must fight against, and protect our loved ones against. It’s an easy black and white topic.

But gay marriage has me at a loss. And while I struggle with that personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is one that I will let go. I cannot begin to understand what it’s like to be a gay person in today’s world. I cannot begin to understand the struggles, persecution, and devastation they go through trying to figure it out themselves. I know too many gay individuals that would give ANYTHING not to be tormented with their sexual preferences. I know many gays that have “shelved” that part of their life so they can live the way God would want them to live – straight. I have heard too many stories of kids, children, committing suicide because they are disgusted with their own sexuality.

How can I possibly make this judgment call? I can’t, and I won’t. God does declare marriage between a man and a woman. But God declares a lot of things that people choose to disobey. Adultery, Murder, etc. And NO, I am not putting Gay Marriage in that category… I am just saying, when it boils down to it, it’s a choice that people SHOULD be able to make. If one has the freedom to choose whether they have an affair or not, then surely one should have the freedom to choose who they marry. But our nation isn’t allowing for people to choose. And this is what has me frustrated. Because as a NATION, we are founded on freedoms. And as a RELIGION, we are given our free agency to make our own choices. But that choice has to be available, then, doesn’t it?

I guess my point is, whether I believe gay marriage to be right or wrong, I still feel that one should have the option to make that decision for one’s self. Not only in our nation, but in our religion as well we have dealt with inequality before. It is interesting (for lack of a better word) to me that gay people have been persecuted in this nation longer than slaves and women.

I don’t feel I am doing a disservice to my religion, or to my marriage, by supporting a gay person in their trek for happiness. I don’t feel that we, as a people, can grow without true equality, even if it is something we don’t agree with. Judgment lies within God, and God alone. It is not my place to try to figure it out, and determine the worth of His souls, of His creations. I won’t insult him by damning His children because my mind is too little to understand.

I want peace. I want happiness. I want freedom. Not just for me, not just for my religion, but for my nation, and all those who inhabit this land of Promise. One nation, founded under God, for all.

For some of you – you will see my position as weak, or as a disservice to my religion. I am seen as a “fence sitter”. And that is ok. You can judge me, and criticize my decision. But in my heart, and between me and my God, I am at peace, and I have received personal confirmation that it’s ok not to understand everything, and that it’s ok to love and let love. It’s what He does every day with my imperfect soul. It’s the least I could to unto others.