~ Heidi MontGAG ~

I see this girl and want to barf. I see this girl and am seriously so furious, I'm speechless. So, I am going to steal a great article from Newsweek:

Heidi Montag, Version 3.0
Eleven things that deeply disturb us about the reality star's surgical transformation.

By the time she turned 21 in September 2007, MTV reality star Heidi Montag had already had a nose job, collagen lip injections, and implants that turned her A-cups into cantaloupe-round 32-Cs. In the years since, she's mulled over what to have done next, saving photos of stars like Angelina Jolie and consulting her surgeon more than 20 times. In this week's People, she describes her behavior as "absolutely beyond obsessed." Which led her to the operating room once again, on Nov. 20, for a total of 10 procedures in one sitting. There are many things wrong with this scenario—beginning with Montag's sleazy husband filming her with a handheld camera while a doctor marked off her "problem areas." But here are the 11 things about Heidi's surgery obsession—and her interview with People—that disturbed us the most.

11. She Says God Is On Her Side - How accommodating of God to hop down from the pearly throne and sign Heidi's plastic-surgery permission slip. "I prayed about it for a long time and said, 'God, if it's wrong, then I won't do it,' " she says, on how she squared the slew of procedures (estimated at $30,000-plus) with her religious faith.

10. 'Sexy Ears' Is Sure to Become a New Catchphrase - What, you wonder, makes an ear "sexy"? According to Heidi—whose ears have now been surgically "pinned back"—it was mortifying to see herself on TV with flaps sticking out "like Dumbo." "For the first time," she says, speaking about her post-op body, "I have sexy ears! I can wear updos, instead of hiding them behind my hair." We're waiting for those glorious updos.

9. It's a Miracle She Snagged a Man With Her Real Tits - "Honestly, the way I got Spencer, I had no surgery," she tells People. "It was my inner beauty that he loved." Nice sentiment. Sadly, her case that you don't need silicone to snag a man is undermined by a pre-surgery video on People's site, in which Montag signs off this way: "This is Heidi Montag going in. When I wake up, I'll be Mrs. Pratt: new last name, new face."

8. The Pain! - Many of us have idly wondered what it would be like to go under the knife, but Heidi's account is the ultimate cautionary tale. She spent 10 hours in the operating room, her body tagged up with a marker like a page out of Paint by Numbers. She emerged to a blur of pain and spins and stars. When she saw her husband, "I started crying hard," she tells People. "I was like, 'I feel like I wanna die right now. I'm in so much pain. I don't know what to do.' " What she did was ask for drugs—drugs that slowed her breathing to the point where an oxygen mask was rushed over her face. When she finally returned home, she made her husband cover all the mirrors in the house to hide her puffy, bruised body. "I looked like I had been hit by a bus," she says. "I was a purple, swollen mush." Where can we sign up?

7. After All That, No Man Will Ever Look at Anything but Her Boobs - Last night, after a heated office discussion at NEWSWEEK, one of our staffers posted Heidi's before-and-after images on Facebook. "She seems to look pretty much the same," one of her male friends commented, "excepting the radically altered bust." When you've got DDDs—and have vowed to go bigger—it's easy to see how one could be, um, distracted. And Heidi is counting on it: when People asked if she worries that people will fixate on her breasts, she responded, "They better!"

6. Apparently This Is Normal. (At Least in Hollywood.) - We've grown up on pop culture that screams that everything is a candidate for improvement. We've watched bodies transformed on Extreme Makeover; faces taken apart and pieced back together on I Want a Famous Face. We dissect Demi Moore's Photoshopped body on the cover of W magazine and wonder how the 47-year-old mother, even before the airbrushing, could possibly look so good. Meanwhile, statistics from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery show that cosmetic-surgery procedures performed on those 18 and younger have nearly doubled over the past decade, while nearly 14 percent of Botox injections are given to those in the 19-to-34 age group, like Heidi. "I think it's a very interesting time for girls, in that what we all grew up believing—that you have to play the hand you're dealt—is no longer true," screenwriter and director Nora Ephron recently told NEWSWEEK. "In some sense, you really can go out and buy yourself a better face and a different body."

5. She Keeps Referring to the New Her as 'The Real Me' - The "real" Heidi Montag is a girl from Crested Butte, Colo. (population: 1,529), who moved to Los Angeles to study fashion and soak up the big city. When confronted with the judgmental culture of L.A. (and reality television and TMZ fame and dating a masochist while he chased Playboy bunnies), Montag decided she needed a "new body" to reflect her "inner beauty" as a sweet, God-loving, confident small-town girl. Post-op, she says she's thrilled to look like "a Norwegian goddess." Which means ... this whole time, her "inner self" was a Norse deity?

4. She's Conforming to a Male Standard of Beauty - She's gone from naive to Playboy model to looking as if she just stepped out of the pages of Penthouse, yet even the surgically enhanced Heidi just can't get enough. "I just love boobs," she says. "They make me feel more womanly." But "womanly" by whose standards?

3. She Thinks It Will Help Her Career - Montag says her "ultimate dream" is to be a pop star, though her singing and dancing talents are minimal and no record label would gamble on her album, Superficial. (Instead, she produced it independently, reportedly spending nearly $2 million to make it.) "I'm competing against the Britney Spears of the world—and when she was in her prime, it was her sex appeal that sold," Montag says, calling her surgeries an "investment for my career." In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Montag said she expects that Superficial could be the "biggest album of the year" and puts it in the pop pantheon with Michael Jackson's Thriller. It should be redundant to say that Montag is delusional about her abilities, but it's a pity that her body is taking the fall.

2. She Calls Herself a 'Cinderella Story' - Starring on The Hills with Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge made Montag the "frumpy sidekick," she says: the wealth and beauty of her costars made her feel ugly and poor by comparison, and she claims her season-one wardrobe was often made up of Conrad's castoffs. The horror: a then-19-year-old forced to borrow a dress from her roommate before a night of clubbing. It's enough to make you want to run, not walk, to the nearest clinic to have your chin sandpapered off.

1. Heidi Montag Will Never Be 'Perfect' - She told People she was "never the prettiest girl," and that the reason for her many procedures was "to feel perfect." But what Montag is reaching for, say body-image experts, simply doesn't exist. It's "unattainable beauty," as Susie Orbach, the former therapist to Princess Diana, has put it: the idea that good looks and peak fitness are no longer a biological gift but a ceaseless pursuit. If this is Montag at 23, just imagine how she'll be at 40.

Read original story here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/231093

Cause of Death: Unknown

Have you missed me? I doubt it. That’s ok. I haven’t had much to say. But – Hello world! I’m back!
So – in the past couple of months, a kid I went to high school with passed away. Now, I’m warning you, this post might come across as offensive, and insensitive – so if you can’t handle the subject of suicide – I suggest you stop reading….

Still with me? Good. Ok, so kid commits suicide; or so it’s presumed. All that is known is that he was found in his bath tub, dead. When word started to spread, it was unknown if this was suicide, or accident, or some freakish medical condition. It was posted all over facebook that he had passed away. With over 30 comments of people asking what happened, the family said there was an autopsy scheduled, so hopefully answers would emerge. The family then said, “Let’s not focus on the why, and just remember the great person that he was”.

Ok, I agree. I’m on board with that. A week or so passes and nothing further is said about the passing of this kid. This is where I think the family is at fault. It really pisses me off that the family decided not to let people know the truth. From what I’ve heard…this kid had a pain-pill addiction. He had recently lost his job. It’s assumed that he was down and out, took too many pills, and died. Now, I knew this kid to some degree. He was a great kid. I find it hard to believe he’d purposely commit suicide. My personal feeling is that it was an accidental overdose. I think most people will agree with me on that. He was such a vibrant kid, and I just don’t see suicide as being his answer to his problems. From the kid I know, he wouldn’t go out like that. This is my opinion.

So, as the family stays silent, rumors and accusations start to spread like wild fire. Rumors like: He was working at a “behavior recovery center” and he was stealing pain-pills from his clients: His girlfriend dumped him, and that was reason enough: He was let go from his job because of his addiction: He was gay and couldn’t handle the secret anymore: The family lied about where he was found. He wasn’t in his apartment, he was at a friend’s home…..

I don’t know if any of these are true. But I personally feel its wrong for the family to stay silent and let this boy’s legacy be this kind of crap. We all have our demons, and it’s unfair for this kid’s demons to be exposed to everyone without anyone (without himself) to stand up for him and defend his honor. Even if the truth was that he was gay with a pain-pill addition that just lost his job because of theft AND his girlfriend dumped him….I still think it would be best for the family to stand up and TELL THE TRUTH, defend their son/sibling, and put this all to bed. No matter how bad or painful the truth is, it’s still better than letting people’s imaginations do the talking on this one.

The family could have taken this kid’s story and turned it into a success story. “Yes, he had a pill addiction, and it sucks we weren’t aware, but hopefully by bringing this forth, and bringing light to the subject, we can save someone else in our lives that suffers. We can’t bring him back, but we can save someone else.” Is that so hard?

Not only could the family shed light on a serious issue, but they could also bring closure to those who were close to this kid. We all know that sometimes friends are closer to someone than their family. I feel that just because they are family doesn’t mean they should be the only ones privileged to know what happened to someone that was cared for, and loved by so many people.

By hiding the truth, they bring shame to their son/sibling. They are saying that whatever happened, it’s too shameful to let others know. I bet that’s how this person felt anyway. He was probably already ashamed that he had an addiction…and his family just validated that he SHOULD have been ashamed. They won’t even let it be known that they love and support him regardless of his worldly struggles. Again, just my opinion!

Months have passed, and people are still wondering, and asking questions about what happened. The family should be embarrassed they’ve let their son/sibling go out like a light, with rumors running the show. They should be ashamed that so many people are searching for closure, wishing they knew the truth, so they could process that information, and move on.

I’m sorry for their loss. It must be so difficult to deal with his demons, knowing that they can’t even talk to him, or comfort him, or help him move passed it. I’m sure for them it has been information overload. I hope that you, my reader, will see that I have so much compassion for this family, and for their loss. I just have the same compassion for the person we lost…and I feel he should be vindicated, and set free from rumors, and hurtful lies.

Ta ta for now,
Xoxo

GRG

BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS

I don't pay close enough attention to even address this issue, but I just gotta say....Whats the big deal with boobs?! Everyone is so up in arms about Miss America (or Miss Universe, or Miss USA, whoever the hell she is...) getting a boob job. It's funny. It's weird that her "manager" paid for them, for sure....but controversial enough for there to be news stories around the topic? NO. The past couple of days, I haven't been able to escape the "implant scandal" for this chick. So she got a boob job...big deal. It's not like she was selling drugs to poor kids. (Though I'm sure she's done some things to that effect)...
.
.
.
.
and regarding all the nude photos that seem to come from those Miss Whatever pageants...can't they simply put a box on the application form that says "Check here if you've ever participated in pornography (video, photo, etc)" and if the answer is checked, sorry - you are no longer a running candidate...and if you lie and it comes out later that you have in fact done porn (cuz we all know 90% of them do....) you are immediately stripped of your title...No drama, no court hearing, no media swarming the story...cut and dry, you are done.
.
.
.
Is it really that difficult? BLAH.

Loyalty to the "Family"

Dear you,

One of my very best friends got married not too long ago. I liked his spouse and tried to get along with her but he has become increasingly withdrawn from our group of friends. We've invited them out with us and they always flake out at the last minute. If we ever do hang out with them it has to be on their terms (their house, a party they are throwing, etc), and more than anything, on his WIFE’S terms. He also acts much different now than he did when we were all single, much more so than can be attributed to increased maturity. Should I keep trying to be a good friend or should I just accept that this person is not the same person I used to know?

Thanks,
Michael Corleone

Dear MC,
So Fredo has broken your heart? Moved on has he? Then YOU SHOULD TOO. If this guy is one of your VERY best friends, and he has dropped you, he doesn’t deserve your loyalty anymore. When we grow up, we have these things called “responsibilities”, and it makes it harder to maintain good friendships, so you should only keep friends in your life that are willing to work as hard as you at having a friendship. Why should you work your tail off for someone who won’t reciprocate your efforts? Sounds like we have a Yoko Ono on our hands. She could be the cause of the fall out. Does your friend hang with his spouse’s friends and family? I bet they do. Black ball that biotch. Usually when people get married, there is a change (for the better) in behavior. Your friend can’t make all the bbq’s and parties because now he has to divide his time in half, that’s normal, but if he’s not making ANY of the parties…it sounds like he’s given you up for his spouse! Not cool; especially with dudes. Girls can be overly sensitive, and a cat fight like this is expected. Girls fight about everything, but for best GUY friends and loyalty? Usually there isn’t much that stands in the way of that…except a she-devil. Come on, we all know it. Unfortunately, as we age, some friends are lifers, while others come and go. I know this is probably a friend you thought would be a lifer, given the fact that you were at some point best friends, but it looks as though the season has passed with this one. Let him go. He’ll realize in 10 years how lonely he is, and how much he misses his TRUE friends. Unless the she-devil kills off his old spirit completely, and if that’s the case, he won’t even remember what he used to be like back in the day, or what he’s missing out on. Dump him. You can do better.
Xoxo,
♥

Date vs. Do

Dear GRG,
I have been at my new job for about six months and love it – the work is challenging and rewarding and it’s a good group of people to boot. One co-worker in particular has made extra effort to befriend me, and not just in a “facebook” kind of way. He and I have a lot in common and in the past few months have become great friends. Where I am impulsive and a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl, he is meticulous and cautious...his risk factor is very low where mine is off the charts. So of course he is the one who decided we shouldn't date because we work together. However, I really want to hit it and quit it – and go back to being friends with him. I told him as much one night while we were hanging out . He said, we can’t date, we work together. I said (and it was and IS the honest truth), oh I don’t want to date you - I just want to do you! Said co-worker/friend was obviously pleasantly shocked and now is turning on the charm full tilt boogie. We spend a lot of time together and our mutual attraction is the big pink elephant in the room, the bomb that could go off at any minute. Okay GRG, can I hit it and quit it with someone I work with – with only a wall separating us 8 hours a day - or should I get real and resist?
Signed,
Frustrated Fraternizer

Dear Frustrated Fraternizer,
First of all, I like your style girl! I got a kick out of reading your email. Though I don’t think you should hit it and quit it, I also don’t think you should totally resist. I am not a fan of the one-nighter, for several reasons, especially in a work environment. It’s hard for me to weigh in on this situation because aside from my personal feelings on the matter, I don’t know your office policies, and whether or not dating in the office is allowed. Usually it’s frowned upon – so I’m going to take it from that point of view. If you work with this man, a one-nighter brings up several concerns that you should think about. What if he tells people at work? What kind of reputation awaits you? How will your superiors view you, if they find out? Could you lose your job over this? So those are the more serious issues with the situation, but I have to ask…If you guys have a lot in common, and get along, and have become great friends, why don’t you want to DATE him? Maybe you’re not in that place in your life, which is fine, but maybe you should think about dating him. Another thing – let’s get real…There is NO such thing as “hit it and quit it”. Once you have shared that intimacy with someone, you can’t just go back to being friends. You can try…but one of three things will happen…1. A one-nighter will turn into casual, frequent sex, 2. one of you will want more from the other (relationship!?), or 3. your rendezvous will make for awkward water cooler conversations, and the friendship will dissipate. However, I don’t think you should totally resist him either. Having a flirty relationship is good for the ego, and let’s face it – it helps the work day move along; there’s nothing wrong with that! Live in the moment…if that bomb goes off, then, so be it, but GRG’s advice is a no-go on the one-nighter, sorry FF. If you decide to throw all caution to the wind, and give in to the temptation, please give GRG a heads up to the juicy drama! A good forbidden love story is my guilty pleasure...
Xoxo,
♥

When Are You Having a Baby?

I was talking to a friend about that annoying question people feel the need to ask. As if it's any of their business! So tacky. My friend had some great responses, so I had to share.

Top 10 Answers to the Question “So when are you having a baby?”
10. As soon as the paper for welfare goes through.
9. Well, my husband is paying child support for his other 6, so financially, its just not a good time.
8. The doctor said I can’t have kids while I’m using.
7. We’re looking for a good egg donor! Are there any genetic diseases in your family?
6. We’re just going to adopt 4 from octomom and call it a day.
5. We’re still working on our tantric technique. No babies until that’s perfected.
4. We want to wait until we’re in our 90’s like the biblical Abraham!
3. We’re waiting for free health care! Cross your fingers!
2. Well, we might be having one in 8 months, but we’ll have to get a paternity test first.
1. WORST ECONOMY IN 80 YEARS!!! Ask the Republicans when I’m having a baby!

Xoxo,

♥ GRG

New Me vs. Old Me

Dear Get Real Girl,
I am currently going through a divorce because I've started realizing how much I’ve changed the last few years; I’ve become someone I'm not and I'm working toward finding the real me again. As I'm going through this period in my life, I've gotten back in touch with an ex of mine. We're just friends and our relationship has been strictly platonic since we've reconnected-for the most part. I'm not saying I plan to date him when the divorce is finalized but I have to admit the idea has crossed my mind. There is definitely chemistry between us, definitely a bond. Is it ok that I'm leaning on an ex and being flirty with him through my divorce? Is it wrong to move into this so quickly?
Thanks
The New Me

Dear New Me,
Ha! Almost sounds like I’m talking to myself. Am I? Ok, losing focus here. So we’ve got a little bit of a conundrum, do we? Have no fear, GRG is here. When it comes to “platonic” relationships, be VERY careful. It’s the age old question of “Can a man and a woman have a platonic relationship; or does one or the other always want something physical to come from it?” If you are going through a divorce, it obviously means that you are no longer in love with your soon-to-be ex-husband. It’s inevitable that you WILL be dating again, and you will move on to someone else. Timing is everything. Though your ex-boyfriend holds no bearings on your current situation, the excitement of that relationship may bleed over into your marriage, and make things a little fuzzy. I’m sure it’s natural to feel slightly vulnerable, and you might even crave a little male affection at the moment. Try very hard to be mindful of this at all times. My advice to you: Distant yourself from this ex. An occasional email, or text message saying hello might be ok, but anything further, and you’re playing with fire. You are technically still married, even if your heart isn’t in it, so flirting is probably inappropriate. If this ex is a good friend, and a shoulder to lean on through this difficult time, make sure it stays at the friend level, at least until your divorce is finalized. The last thing you want is to end up in the classic “rescue” relationship, where you feel your ex saved you from your bad marriage. This situation usually does not end well for anyone. Just keep the ex at a respectable distance, and you should be ok. Also be mindful of the possibility that your ex-boyfriend makes you feel like the old you. Reminiscing on old times can definitely be therapeutic when going through a difficult situation. But you don’t want to be the OLD you, you’re striving for the NEW you! Please keep GRG informed on THAT situation, and how it works out!!! I’m dying to know if ex-boyfriend turns into something MORE!

Xoxo,

♥ GRG