Loyalty to the "Family"

Dear you,

One of my very best friends got married not too long ago. I liked his spouse and tried to get along with her but he has become increasingly withdrawn from our group of friends. We've invited them out with us and they always flake out at the last minute. If we ever do hang out with them it has to be on their terms (their house, a party they are throwing, etc), and more than anything, on his WIFE’S terms. He also acts much different now than he did when we were all single, much more so than can be attributed to increased maturity. Should I keep trying to be a good friend or should I just accept that this person is not the same person I used to know?

Thanks,
Michael Corleone

Dear MC,
So Fredo has broken your heart? Moved on has he? Then YOU SHOULD TOO. If this guy is one of your VERY best friends, and he has dropped you, he doesn’t deserve your loyalty anymore. When we grow up, we have these things called “responsibilities”, and it makes it harder to maintain good friendships, so you should only keep friends in your life that are willing to work as hard as you at having a friendship. Why should you work your tail off for someone who won’t reciprocate your efforts? Sounds like we have a Yoko Ono on our hands. She could be the cause of the fall out. Does your friend hang with his spouse’s friends and family? I bet they do. Black ball that biotch. Usually when people get married, there is a change (for the better) in behavior. Your friend can’t make all the bbq’s and parties because now he has to divide his time in half, that’s normal, but if he’s not making ANY of the parties…it sounds like he’s given you up for his spouse! Not cool; especially with dudes. Girls can be overly sensitive, and a cat fight like this is expected. Girls fight about everything, but for best GUY friends and loyalty? Usually there isn’t much that stands in the way of that…except a she-devil. Come on, we all know it. Unfortunately, as we age, some friends are lifers, while others come and go. I know this is probably a friend you thought would be a lifer, given the fact that you were at some point best friends, but it looks as though the season has passed with this one. Let him go. He’ll realize in 10 years how lonely he is, and how much he misses his TRUE friends. Unless the she-devil kills off his old spirit completely, and if that’s the case, he won’t even remember what he used to be like back in the day, or what he’s missing out on. Dump him. You can do better.
Xoxo,
♥