New Me vs. Old Me

Dear Get Real Girl,
I am currently going through a divorce because I've started realizing how much I’ve changed the last few years; I’ve become someone I'm not and I'm working toward finding the real me again. As I'm going through this period in my life, I've gotten back in touch with an ex of mine. We're just friends and our relationship has been strictly platonic since we've reconnected-for the most part. I'm not saying I plan to date him when the divorce is finalized but I have to admit the idea has crossed my mind. There is definitely chemistry between us, definitely a bond. Is it ok that I'm leaning on an ex and being flirty with him through my divorce? Is it wrong to move into this so quickly?
Thanks
The New Me

Dear New Me,
Ha! Almost sounds like I’m talking to myself. Am I? Ok, losing focus here. So we’ve got a little bit of a conundrum, do we? Have no fear, GRG is here. When it comes to “platonic” relationships, be VERY careful. It’s the age old question of “Can a man and a woman have a platonic relationship; or does one or the other always want something physical to come from it?” If you are going through a divorce, it obviously means that you are no longer in love with your soon-to-be ex-husband. It’s inevitable that you WILL be dating again, and you will move on to someone else. Timing is everything. Though your ex-boyfriend holds no bearings on your current situation, the excitement of that relationship may bleed over into your marriage, and make things a little fuzzy. I’m sure it’s natural to feel slightly vulnerable, and you might even crave a little male affection at the moment. Try very hard to be mindful of this at all times. My advice to you: Distant yourself from this ex. An occasional email, or text message saying hello might be ok, but anything further, and you’re playing with fire. You are technically still married, even if your heart isn’t in it, so flirting is probably inappropriate. If this ex is a good friend, and a shoulder to lean on through this difficult time, make sure it stays at the friend level, at least until your divorce is finalized. The last thing you want is to end up in the classic “rescue” relationship, where you feel your ex saved you from your bad marriage. This situation usually does not end well for anyone. Just keep the ex at a respectable distance, and you should be ok. Also be mindful of the possibility that your ex-boyfriend makes you feel like the old you. Reminiscing on old times can definitely be therapeutic when going through a difficult situation. But you don’t want to be the OLD you, you’re striving for the NEW you! Please keep GRG informed on THAT situation, and how it works out!!! I’m dying to know if ex-boyfriend turns into something MORE!

Xoxo,

♥ GRG