Date vs. Do

Dear GRG,
I have been at my new job for about six months and love it – the work is challenging and rewarding and it’s a good group of people to boot. One co-worker in particular has made extra effort to befriend me, and not just in a “facebook” kind of way. He and I have a lot in common and in the past few months have become great friends. Where I am impulsive and a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl, he is meticulous and cautious...his risk factor is very low where mine is off the charts. So of course he is the one who decided we shouldn't date because we work together. However, I really want to hit it and quit it – and go back to being friends with him. I told him as much one night while we were hanging out . He said, we can’t date, we work together. I said (and it was and IS the honest truth), oh I don’t want to date you - I just want to do you! Said co-worker/friend was obviously pleasantly shocked and now is turning on the charm full tilt boogie. We spend a lot of time together and our mutual attraction is the big pink elephant in the room, the bomb that could go off at any minute. Okay GRG, can I hit it and quit it with someone I work with – with only a wall separating us 8 hours a day - or should I get real and resist?
Signed,
Frustrated Fraternizer

Dear Frustrated Fraternizer,
First of all, I like your style girl! I got a kick out of reading your email. Though I don’t think you should hit it and quit it, I also don’t think you should totally resist. I am not a fan of the one-nighter, for several reasons, especially in a work environment. It’s hard for me to weigh in on this situation because aside from my personal feelings on the matter, I don’t know your office policies, and whether or not dating in the office is allowed. Usually it’s frowned upon – so I’m going to take it from that point of view. If you work with this man, a one-nighter brings up several concerns that you should think about. What if he tells people at work? What kind of reputation awaits you? How will your superiors view you, if they find out? Could you lose your job over this? So those are the more serious issues with the situation, but I have to ask…If you guys have a lot in common, and get along, and have become great friends, why don’t you want to DATE him? Maybe you’re not in that place in your life, which is fine, but maybe you should think about dating him. Another thing – let’s get real…There is NO such thing as “hit it and quit it”. Once you have shared that intimacy with someone, you can’t just go back to being friends. You can try…but one of three things will happen…1. A one-nighter will turn into casual, frequent sex, 2. one of you will want more from the other (relationship!?), or 3. your rendezvous will make for awkward water cooler conversations, and the friendship will dissipate. However, I don’t think you should totally resist him either. Having a flirty relationship is good for the ego, and let’s face it – it helps the work day move along; there’s nothing wrong with that! Live in the moment…if that bomb goes off, then, so be it, but GRG’s advice is a no-go on the one-nighter, sorry FF. If you decide to throw all caution to the wind, and give in to the temptation, please give GRG a heads up to the juicy drama! A good forbidden love story is my guilty pleasure...
Xoxo,
♥