Dating Department 101

Dear Get Real and Deal,

I am dating so many men. It is fun for the most part, but usually I just feel overwhelmed by it and honestly would prefer not to continue with so many people. However I feel I should be dating a lot of people in order to 1. be able to find the best one for myself and the one I want the most, and 2. because it seems that this is the best way to keep a man interested. It appears to me that the more you are into just one man, the less he pursues. But I could be wrong of course. I would appreciate any advice you may give :)

-Playa'

Dear Playa,

Finding The One. If only there was a simple, mathematical process to make Mr. Perfect fall at our feet, but there isn't. Dating can be very daunting. So many first impressions, first dates, first kisses, etc. Don't get me wrong, all those things can be magical, and fun...but if you've got too many men at once, it can turn into a series of unfortunate events.

Finding a good balance is needed. Dating several people at once is normal, healthy, and a great way to narrow the playing field into possible marriage candidates. Be open, and honest with all those you date, so they know you're dating more than one person at a time. This will keep yourself free from lying, and worrying about excuses, etc. It is also a strong reflection of your integrity. If a guy can't handle that he's not the only one, it's his job to either walk, or tell you he wants to be more serious. The most important thing is that you're honest, with them, and yourself.

My advice is to narrow your playing field to several (aka no more than 3) candidates. Which ones do you have the most chemistry with? Who are you into physically? emotionally? spiritually? mentally? Find the ones that you relate to the most, and run with that.

Men do seem to enjoy The Chase a little more than women, and whether or not they'll stick around after The Catch is unknown. But it shouldn't take too long to figure out if the heat is gone after the initial Catch. This is why I think dating someone exclusive for a long period of time (aka more than 6 months) is very important. Standing the test of time is an easy way to see if the chemistry fades, or remains.

Hey, if it doesn't pan out, you can always go back to the drawing board and pick more players!

Xoxo,

♥